Tears of PainMay 4, 2010. I cried leaving the office yesterday, tears streaming down my face, which I couldn't control, not sobbing, but it was the only way to release the pain I was feeling. I had my sunglasses on, I didn't want anyone to see as I was leaving the office. I'm walking to my car, one of my coworkers runs up beside me and asks, how was your day? I held back the tears, and said fine, really busy. As I got in my car, I still choked back the tears, I told myself wait until you get home. By the time I got home I let the tears flow. I feel helpless, I'm planning on retiring at 60 but how can I keep going like this??!At work I can never just get up from my chair, I have to slowly stand, kind of re-align myself, I always do this when no one is around and have kept this to myself. I am an attractive 56 year old woman, I have wonderful family and friends. I had a very active life at home and at work. Then last October, early in the morning I tried to get out of bed, I couldn't move, the pain shot through me like a knife, I didn't know what was happening, and so the story goes, hospital emergency etc... I can't believe how it has changed my life. When I am experiencing bad pain, I can't think, or do anything, I've missed meetings because of this. There are days when I think is my life now? I'm a grandmother of beautiful children that I want to be able to spend time with. I'm too young to be in this much debilitating pain! I can no longer ride my Harley any distance, used to travel a lot. There are days when I feel overwhelmed by this and really don't know what to do. - Roseann Tears of Pain to Sciatica 5/5/10 |
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